Happy For Once
by rachael-green-bakura
Summary: The continued story of Xant and Lily. After all was said and done, can they finally be happy for once? Rated M for language and sexual themes.


Xant stared into the scrying pool, watching Lily as she went about her day. He wrapped his white, feathery wings around him and gave a sigh of longing. He had to content himself with seeing her this way. He couldn't go down to the mortal plane. He couldn't reach out to her anymore. He couldn't speak with her. And in turn, the archangel Andarielle shielded him from similar things. This was both a curse and a blessing. His family could not find him, but neither could Lily.

There was a flutter of wings behind him. Xant sighed inwardly.

"How long have you been here?" asked Andarielle suspiciously.

Xant shrugged. "Few hours," he deadpanned. "Since I woke up."

"I mean, how long have you been _here_?" clarified Andarielle. She walked up to him and sat down, still a fair distance away, looking at him as if she were afraid he was carrying some deadly disease. Nobody liked the ex-demon on this plane.

Xant sighed out loud this time. "Awhile."

"And yet you still watch the human girl," said Andarielle.

"She needs me to," answered Xant simply.

"Does she?" asked Andarielle. "I think it's you who needs to watch over her. It's been three mortal years since you joined us—"

"Three years, four months, and six days."

"—and I'm sure the girl has moved on from you," finished Andarielle indignantly.

"Maybe so," said Xant softly, finding it easiest not to argue with the archangel. "But I'm going to keep watching her. I don't want her to try to kill herself again. The only reason I'm here at all with you wastes is because I didn't want her to die in the first place."

"If she does, you are not to go to her," said Andarielle sternly.

"I'd like to see one of you try and stop me."

"You have no power here, demon."

"Do you see any horns?" Xant deadpanned. "I'm as much of an angel as any of you."

"You will never be an angel," she hisses. "You will always be tainted inside."

"Well isn't that a relief," said Xant dryly.

He turned his gaze back to the pool. He saw an apparition of himself, the way he used to be, appear and say something to Lily. _Oh no_, he thought. He couldn't react. Not in front of Andarielle. However, even as he told himself he would not react, the pain in his chest was sharp and sudden, and his flinch was involuntary, as was his hand moving to grab at his chest.

"Are you alright?" asked Andarielle.

"Yes," answered Xant, unable to keep all the pain out of his voice.

"No, you aren't," said Andarielle correctly. "What could have caused that?" Despite the general consensus that he was to be avoided, she came closer to him.

"Please don't touch me," said Xant forcefully. "It's just an old injury, nothing more."

"_Proper_ angels are expert healers," she said patiently. "I can heal your injury, no matter how old."

"Don't touch me!" Xant protested. If she touched him, it would all be over.

"Nonsense," she says, grabbing his wrist and pulling it away from his chest, replacing his hand with her own. She recoiled with a gasp. "Your soul," she said in disbelief. "It's torn."

"I know," said Xant bitterly, moving away from her. His split soul had been a dull ache since it split three years ago, but it always flared painfully whenever it attempted to escape its new host and return to him. As an ex-soul eating demon, he was specially tuned into souls and his own was no exception.

"Your soul is not just tainted as I feared," she said gravely. "It is incomplete."

"I know," Xant said again, standing up.

"You cannot be an angel with a soul as maimed as yours!" she cried.

"I thought I was never going to be an angel," argued Xant. "Isn't that what you _just_ said?"

"No," she said, her voice dropping to a dangerous whisper. "You must leave!"

"Leave?" asked Xant, starting to become fearful.

"You cannot be an angel," hissed Andarielle. "The protection we so graciously extended to you is void!"

"But…but…!" protested Xant, trying to find the words. "I have to stay! I have nowhere else!"

"You do not have to return to Baator," said Andarielle. "But you cannot stay here."

"…Where am I supposed to go?" asked Xant, defeated. He knew he had no power here. "I can't go home. And I can't go to the hells; the devils will eat me alive like this. And if I return to the mortal plane, I'll be a sitting duck…"

Andarielle's fierce eyes softened. She put a hand on his shoulder, having the good grace not to cringe too much at doing so. "I do not communicate with the filth of Baator," she said. Xant decided to ignore the slight on his home plane. "If your family finds out, it will not be because of me."

"You mean…you won't tell them that I'm back on the mortal plane?" he asked, not quite believing it.

Andarielle shakes her head. "I will make no attempt to protect you," she said. "However, I will not sell you out either. Every creature deserves a chance at happiness, even one as vile as you."

"Thank you?" he said uncertainly.

"You are welcome," she replied. "And if it is any consolation to you, I don't believe your crime was worthy of the punishment your family tried to give. Your actions were those of someone in love. Now I want you to get out of our celestial plane, never return, and find out if that girl still loves you back."

"Yes," said Xant eagerly. "Thank you! I never thought I'd be saying that to an angel and mean it, but thank you! I will!"

Andarielle returned his smile and teleported him down to the mortal plane. Immediately upon arriving in an abandoned alleyway not too far from Lily, Xant gasped in pain as his wings began to rot. He had officially fallen.

* * *

Lily walked slowly back to the inn where she was staying, hugging herself and looking at the ground, avoiding eye contact with anyone. She didn't want to be talked to, she didn't want to be looked at, she just wanted to make it back to her room and cry herself to sleep.

She hated these hallucinations of Xant. They started last year, and they were getting longer and more frequent. They were getting more real. It scared her.

"Excuse me," came a very familiar voice behind her. "I simply had to stop you to tell you how beautiful you look today."

Lily looked over her shoulder to see Xant smiling at her…and simply sighed sadly and kept walking. Xant's expression changed to one of hurt as he ran to catch up with her. No, this couldn't be right. Andarielle _couldn't_ be right.

"Hey, what gives?" he asked, offended. Lily didn't respond or look at him. There were still people around; she couldn't act crazy now. "Lily!"

"Leave me alone," she breathed, barely audible, hardly moving her lips. "Why is one of you back so soon?"

Then it clicked and Xant laughed in relief. She wasn't ignoring _him_, she just thought he was one of the hallucinations. "Lily, it's okay, it's me."

"You're a talkative one," she muttered bitterly. She sped up, walking faster. The inn was nearby.

"Lily. Hey, Lily. Lily. Lil. Hey. C'mon, Lily, talk to me. Liiiillll."

Xant pestered her to acknowledge him as she led him into the empty alleyway next to the inn. When they made it to the cul-de-sac, she whipped around and slapped him as hard as she could. Xant stumbled back, holding his cheek.

"_Ow_! Lily, what was that for?" he asked.

Lily looked utterly shocked and surprised. "You didn't disappear," she said. "You're solid. They've never been solid."

"That's because it's _me_, Lily," he said, meeting her eyes imploringly.

Lily hesitantly reached out and touched his chest, expecting to draw her hand back as it went through him. Instead it connected with solid, warm flesh and she looked up at him, mouth agape. "It's really you?" she asked in a wavery voice.

Xant smiled sheepishly and unfolded his tightly folded wings to their full length, the tips nearly touching the buildings on either side of the alley. His wings were covered in a painful looking rot and the feathers were falling out as she watched. "I fell," he said. "I was kicked out. It's me."

Lily let out a dry sob and grabbed the back of his neck, pulling him down and crushing her lips against his. He kissed her back hungrily, wrapping his arms around her. Lily finally broke the kiss and buried her face in his chest, wrapping her arms around him tightly as if afraid letting go would mean him leaving again.

"Don't ever leave me again," she sobbed into his chest. "And stop trying to save my life, that always ends with you leaving!"

Xant hugged her, kissing the top of her head and nuzzling her hair. "I'm not going anywhere this time. I promise."

Lily looked up at him, tears in her eyes. "I love you," she said quickly. "I never got to say it before, but I can't not say it now. I love you. I love you so much."

Xant smiled happily. "I love you too."

On the celestial plane, Andarielle smiled to herself as they embraced tighter. Wishing them happiness, she wiped the scrying pool clean and flew off.

* * *

"Why did I hallucinate you?" asked Lily, sitting on the bed in her inn room with Xant next to her.

"You have a piece of my soul," answered Xant.

"What?"

"When I stole your soul back, a piece of mine latched onto yours," he said. "It was an accident. I didn't mean for it to happen. No offense, but you're weak, and it's been rejecting you. It keeps trying to escape and come back to the rest of it, still in me. And when it fails, it manifests."

"Will it keep happening now that you're back?" she asked.

Xant nodded. "I can take it back though. Angels have almost as much power over souls as balor do. Although I'd need to do it fast. Once my wings completely rot away, I'll have no power. And it'll also hurt, probably a lot…"

Lily shook her head. "I don't care. Get it out of me. It's caused me nothing but grief since it started manifesting."

"Okay," said Xant, nodding. He took her hand and kissed her softly.

As he did, Lily felt a sharp pain in her chest and winced, squeezing his hand. The pain rose until it became unbearable and then with a horrible ripping sensation, stopped abruptly. Xant drew back, breaking the kiss.

"There," he said. "I took it back. It's over. We never have to do that again."

"Thank you," she said, panting. "It feels much bet—are you okay?"

Xant grimaced and clutched at his chest. The searing in his rotting wings had increased tenfold and spread to the rest of his body. He felt so hot. Pain racked his body. His mind blanked and his vision darkened, his body focused only on the pain. He let out a choked cry as his entire body seared with agony.

If he weren't so distracted, he would have been aware that inside him, his angel soul was fighting with the demon fragment – and the demon fragment was winning. It latched onto the angelic soul and started corrupting it, restoring it to its former glory. It would make its host body powerful again. Xant's eyes changed color, his pupils and sclera turning dark green. His skin tinted pale blue as his blood became cerulean. His nails and teeth sharpened. Horns grew on his head. His wings completely rotted away without a trace.

The pain started to fade as his demon part won, eradicating the last trances of angelic influence. He faintly heard Lily say his name. Then, just as the pain was almost gone and his vision was starting to return, his demon body remembered what had been happening to it before it had been transformed. He heard Lily's concerned cry as pain exploded all over, worse than before. Everything faded to black as he passed out.


End file.
